When you’re bored out of your mind at Kent Farm because your fathers are busy hanging out and won’t let you go on patrol without adult supervision…
Bruce and Clark: *chatting and drinking coffee*
Jon: *lies down on the grass* What are you doing?
Damian: *yawns* I’m just trying to throw batarangs at my father’s head, but the wind keeps taking it.
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When Wally met Dick…
Robin: *wearing a green scaly leotard*
Kid Flash: What am I looking at here, Robin? Hero to hero, didn’t you want to wear something a little more form-flattering? Like a pile of towels?
Dick: Tim, I have to ask you a favor. It’s about my clothes…
Jason: *from his bedroom across the hall* Burn them! Burn them all!
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.
Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*
Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*
Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*
Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*
Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*
When your sleep-deprived brother’s eager to meet his date to the Wayne Foundation gala…
Tam: *walks into the ballroom*
Tim: *clumsily smoothing down his suit* No! She’s here early! How do I look?
Jason: *eyeing Tim’s ruffled hair, bruised cheek, lopsided bowtie, half-untucked dress shirt and muddy patrol boots* It’s better if you didn’t know.
Inviting your superfriends over for your safe-housewarming…
Arsenal: *talking on the phone* It’s our thing, Dick. Dudesgiving.
Red Hood: *unpacking weapons in the other room* Okay, no matter how many e-mails you send, that’s not real, Roy!
Arsenal: It’s real, man!
Red Hood: It’s not real! We’re not calling it that!
On his first night at Wayne Manor…
Dear Diary,
Tomorrow will be different. It has to be.
I will smile and it will be believable. My smile will say, “I’m fine. Thank you. Yes. Much better”.
I will no longer be the boy who lost his parents. I will start fresh. Be someone new. It’s the only way I’ll make it through.
– Dick
Educating your sister about pop culture be like…
Jason [to Cass]: There was this movie, “Footloose” –
Tim: “Flashdance”.
Jason: Where this plumber chick –
Tim: She was a welder.
Jason: What, were you, like, in the movie?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Give him a break, Timmy. He was gone for a while, remember?
Jason [to Dick]: Whoa. Where you going in those pants? 1982?
Jason: I’m not so good with the advice… Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
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