Superman: Bruce, I’m not going to lie to your son.
Batman: Come on, Clark. I lie to my sons all the time.
Category: Uncategorized
While on patrol…
Batman [on the Comm Link]: Tim, what’s your status?
Red Robin: Scared, anxious, worried.
Batman: Alfred, I was totally fine before Dick came into my life.
Alfred: With all due respect, Master Bruce, you were a dumpster fire.
Jason: Wow. Little Timmy, the new CEO of Wayne Enterprises. I feel so full of… What’s the opposite of shame?
Dick: Pride?
Jason: No, not that far from shame.
Dick: Less shame?
Jason: *beaming with pride* Yeah.
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Tim: So how come you don’t have to get all dressed up?
Jason: I am dressed up. You see any holes in these pants?
Or blood. He is dressed up, Timbo.
Tim: *watching as Damian furiously stomps away*
Tim: He really doesn’t like me.
Dick: *sighs* He doesn’t. But he didn’t have to say it to your face.
Robin: *crouching atop a gargoyle, watching over Gotham City and allowing the evening breeze to majestically blow his cape around*
Robin: I’m ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: Master Damian, get down from there. Time for dinner.
Bruce: Jason, I can forgive the smoking, but I can’t forgive the lie.
Alfred: *glares at Bruce*
Bruce: Or the smoking.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Alfred raised you both right.
When your wife knows that you’re not being sarcastic…
Barry [to Iris]: Let me know if you run low on supplies. I’ll take a quick trip to the 1950s for you.
A “cook-in” at your best friend’s apartment be like…
Wally: I got the steak from the freezer. *slams a package onto the kitchen counter*
Dick: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Wally: It was under a chocolate pie.
Dick: So you ate your way through it?
Wally: I made a judgment call. You weren’t there.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 