Tim: I love you.
Tim: That being said, Damian gives me the creeps. So, for a romantic night in, how about we install security cameras and an alarm? *wags eyebrows*
Steph: *deadpan* Be still my heart.
Author: chocoh0lic0201
When you’re feeling underappreciated by your best friend…
Arsenal [to Red Hood]: Oh, I already know what your next obituary will say: Jason Peter Todd, he had the very. BeST. FRIENDS.
Green Lantern: Wow, you’re like a robot.
Batman: That’s the comment someone made on my eHarmony profile. So, I guess it must be true.
In which a slack-jawed Hal became speechless and dropped his beer construct. (To this day, he isn’t sure if their conversation was real.)
When you’re sick and tired of hearing about how your best friend “once died”…
Arsenal: Thanks for sharing, Jaybird. Wow, you really put the “me” in team.
Why the Robins steer clear of their sleep-deprived, caffeine-fueled, case-obsessed brother…
Jason: *taps Tim on the shoulder*
Tim: I am going to have to ask you to calm down, Jay, or I will have to taze you in the face.
Batman: *reads article in Gotham Gazette about Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin, and around 5 million dollars-worth of property damage*
Batman: Hrrrn.
Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin: …
Batman:
Batman: *sighs*
Batman: *takes out check book*
Batman: I prefer you screw up while not wearing your uniforms.
Of the few things that make the coolest, sassiest butler in all of comics lose his cool…
Alfred: Master Dick, WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?!
When you’re bored and trying to stay awake during one of Batman’s “lectures”…
Red Hood: *points at Batman, whispering* Pew, pew! Pew!
Red Hood: *blows imaginary smoke off finger guns, then tucks them into imaginary holsters*
Red Hood: I’m so good it’s stupid. I’m stupid good.
Red Robin: *overhears him from behind*
Red Robin: *with rings around drooping eyelids, drinking his fifteenth cup of coffee for the day* No. Just stupid.
When you’re bored and trying to stay awake during one of Batman’s “lectures”…
Red Hood: *points at Batman, whispering* Pew, pew! Pew!
Red Hood: *blows imaginary smoke off finger guns, then tucks them into imaginary holsters*
Red Hood: I’m so good it’s stupid. I’m stupid good.
About his family’s penchant for secret identities…
Red Hood: We’re so off the grid that I think we’re back on the grid.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
The thing is, this is… pretty canon.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 