Mornings at the Manor…
Dick: *chowing down three separate bowls of cereals, talking with his mouth full* Why do people eat anything besides breakfast food?
Damian: *looking on disgustedly as milk and fruit bits splatter onto Dick’s shirt* Because people are idiots, Grayson.
Dick: Has anyone ever told you that your tenacity can be a bit… intimidating?
Damian: Yes, by every servant in Nanda Parbat since I was four.
When your brother gives you the “keys” to his safe house…
Red Robin: I change my locks every sixteen days. That passcode’s been useless since the second Tuesday I gave it to you.
Jason: *shakes head* Why are you like this?
Tim: *wearing a cowboy hat and riding on the giant dinosaur’s head in the Batcave* Caffeine, baby!
Inviting your workaholic, case-obsessed colleague to dinner be like…
Batman: I’ll take that steak to go. Please and thank you.
The rest of the Justice League: *blink*
Gotta give him props for even acknowledging the food.
Green Lantern: Well, what gives him the right to lead us?
The Flash: As far as his qualifications go, he’s freakin’ Batman!
When you discover that an online quiz about your vigilante family has gone viral among Gothamites…
Tim: The last time I took it, I was a Batman.
Damian: What?! No, no, no, no! Take it again, Drake! Ugh, I have to go recalibrate that stupid quiz!
Discussing your tiny bully of a brother be like…
Jason: Gee, ya think? I mean, I’ve only seen him give you, like, a hundred eye rolls.
Tim: *throws hands up in exasperation* Thank you! I know! It’s like, “Hi, would you like some butter with your eye rolls?”.
Jason: I know! It’s like, “Don’t fill up on eye rolls, Little Brat. Save room for dinner!”.
Damian: *a pair of glinting eyes in the shadows*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Oh, you two are really gonna get it bad this time.
Discussing your tiny bully of a brother be like…
Jason: Gee, ya think? I mean, I’ve only seen him give you, like, a hundred eye rolls.
Tim: *throws hands up in exasperation* Thank you! I know! It’s like, “Hi, would you like some butter with your eye rolls?”.
Jason: I know! It’s like, “Don’t fill up on eye rolls, Little Brat. Save room for dinner!”.
Damian: *a pair of glinting eyes in the shadows*
Oh, you two are really gonna get it bad this time.
Recounting his recent encounter with Superman…
Red Hood: So, I pulled a gun on him.
Batman: *glares*
The rest of the Batfamily: *jaw drop*
Red Hood: What? You guys know I do that from time to time.
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