Mission debriefing…
Nightwing: *holding a pair of handcuffs* This was supposed to be for our, um, frisky business.
Robin: I have an IQ of 200. Do you really think I don’t understand what you guys are talking about?
Red Hood: You might know what we’re talking about, but you won’t understand until you’re eighteen.
Mission briefing…
Nightwing: What is our number one problem right now?
Red Robin: *drinking his fifth espresso shot* I’m being forced to work with the brat who tried to murder me.
Robin: *crosses his arms* -Tt-
Red Robin: *trying to remotely hack into the facility’s security system* I prefer certainty over risk!
Red Hood:
*cocks his guns and kicks the door open*
And I prefer not to die in a closet!
Duke: *shrugs* I guess I like hanging around you guys. Don’t know why.
Dick: Thank you –
Jason: I’m not sure that was a compliment.
Bruce: I want a baby soon, Selina. You were right. I want a family. I’ve always wanted a family. And I want one with you because I love you.
Selina: The man who hates being human wants to make another human?
Bruce: Hn. Something like that.
Always wanted a family… bigger than the one you already have, Batman?
Red Hood: *peeking from behind a steel crate at Black Mask’s armed henchmen, who are searching the premises for them*
Red Robin: *waiting as data from the mainframe computer downloads onto a portable device*
Red Hood: *reloads his guns*
Red Hood: Timbo, how much do you trust me?
Red Robin: Probably more than I should.
Batman: Where have you been?
Nightwing: Oh, I’m so sorry. Did I not scale down a ninety-foot cliff and run here with a piece of machinery strapped to my back fast enough for you?
Bomb diffusal…
Robin [on the Comm Link]: What’s going on?
Superboy: The timer sped up!
Robin: What? Did you cut the green one?
Kid Flash: Yes. Roger. Steven. Whoever!
Robin: What were the last two letters?
Kid Flash: B as in Butthole!
Superboy: Dick, what do we do here?
Kid Flash: And M as in Mancy.
Robin: What?
Supeboy: M as in what?
Kid Flash: Mancy. What did you think I said?
Robin: Nancy! You idiot!
Superboy: Dick, tell me what to do!
Robin: So, do ya’ll have parachutes?
Superboy: No!
Robin: Well that would be, you know, problem solved.
Superboy: Dick!
Robin: I don’t know. Push it off with your big-ass hands! Good luck, dude.
batman in love – Bruce, Selina, and their sappy, unconventional relationship
- big brother of the year – mostly Jason being both the best and the worst older brother
- family patrol nights – because they are as dorky as they are bad-ass
- grumpy old kid – because Damian
- hug monster – just Dick doing what he does best
- mornings at the manor – the sitcom of my dreams
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Commissioner Gordon: *lights a cigarette* First, the good news.
Batman: *perched on a gargoyle* Hn.
Commissioner Gordon: *takes a drag* Two of your sons are not locked up in jail.
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