Batman: Alfred, I was totally fine before Dick came into my life.
Alfred: With all due respect, Master Bruce, you were a dumpster fire.
Author: chocoh0lic0201
While on patrol…
Batman [on the Comm Link]: Tim, what’s your status?
Red Robin: Scared, anxious, worried.
When your adoptive son gets insecure…
Bruce: Dick, I wasn’t prepared to raise a kid like you. There’s no manual on how to raise a child who just lost both his parents. If there were, I would have read it a hundred times, cover-to-cover, because I loved you from the moment you stepped into the Manor. I just didn’t know how to show you.
… So you just encouraged him to fight crime alongside you? (Also, be careful, Batman. Declarations of love to Nightwing earn you the biggest tackle-hugs.)
If there was a manual there would’ve been no batman because Alfred would’ve read that FUCKING BOOK FOR INSIGHT
And Alfred’s like, “Fret not, Master Bruce. I wrote one as you were growing up”, then drops a six-inch-thick journal by the Batcomputer. A second volume includes his time with Dick, Jason, and Tim, and a third (and special) one, with Damian.
Damian: Grayson, I owe you my life, my riches, my firstborn.
Dick: Your pets?
Damian: Not them.
Jason: Hey, remember your disgusting habit?
Roy: Which one? I’m going to need you to elaborate.
When you’re in the middle of a mission and your little brother tells you to shut up (or else)…
Red Robin: Robin, I don’t think muttering calculations makes me less efficient.
When Batman tells you to re-evaluate your life decisions and keep an open mind…
Red Hood: My mind is so open that a lot of bad thoughts are coming in!
When your adoptive son gets insecure…
Bruce: Dick, I wasn’t prepared to raise a kid like you. There’s no manual on how to raise a child who just lost both his parents. If there were, I would have read it a hundred times, cover-to-cover, because I loved you from the moment you stepped into the Manor. I just didn’t know how to show you.
… So you just encouraged him to fight crime alongside you? (Also, be careful, Batman. Declarations of love to Nightwing earn you the biggest tackle-hugs.)
When you’re at a comic book store and all a teeny four-year-old (?) boy seems to recognize is “Batman!”. (And some Spiderman, too.)
Yes, sweetheart. That’s Batman. And Batman is a poppa who loves him some babies. So, watch out.
You are trapped in an elevator with the person on your lockscreen. Who is it?
Reblog with who you get stuck with~
Brooding Batman. Woohoo!
(Oh, sorry. Was “Brooding Batman” redundant?)
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