Batman: *enters the Batcave, half-naked in a singed and tattered Batsuit*
Batman: *heads directly to the Batcomputer, limping, dripping blood on the ground*
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Alfred:
Red Hood: Did you get in a tickle fight with Edward Scissorhands?
Author: chocoh0lic0201
“Batman v Superman” behind the scenes…
Wonder Woman [about him and Superman]: What is it with you two? You say you hate him, but the way you deal with him, it’s so clear. Even when you hate him, you still care about him.
Batman: I guess when you spend 78 years being someone’s friend, deciding to quit them is like losing a part of yourself… But sometimes the hate is just so powerful.
Mornings at the Manor…
Dick: *sulking*
Bruce: *reading the business section of the Gotham Gazette*
Alfred: *taking Tim’s groggy face out of a cup of coffee he was trying to drink*
Jason: *cooking waffles while whistling an 80’s tune*
Damian: *doing one-finger push-ups with Alfred the Cat on his back*
Dick: I know I’m the only one in this house who actually drinks milk, but would it kill any of you to make sure it’s actually on the grocery list?
At a Wayne Charity Foundation gala…
Dick: *flashes the signature Grayson grin while offering to shake the Mayor’s hand* Nice to meet you, Sir, Ma’am.
Mayor’s Wife [to Bruce]: Your family is lovely!
Bruce: Hn. Does it seem that way? Where’s Jason?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Meanwhile…
Jason: *smoking beside a dumpster outside the hotel and eavesdropping via Comm Link* Legally dead, you old Bat.
Clark Kent, a.k.a. Superman: You give me a gift? Bam! “Thank You” note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.
How to “borrow” your brother’s stuff…
Tim: Jason, where’s my radiation suit?
Jason: *placing duct tape over the Red Robin logo of the suit he’s wearing* How the heck should I know?
During Tim’s first days as Robin…
Tim: You can’t be fired from your own family. Can you?
Dick:
Bruce:
Dick: *sarcastically clears throat*
At the Metropolis City Fair…
Jon: 🙂
Damian: >:|
Jon: 😀
Damian: Did you just use your super powers to win a stuffed panda?
Don’t be fooled, Superboy. It’s easy to confuse his being impressed (and perhaps mildly jealous) with disapproval.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim and Damian: *bickering at the breakfast table*
Bruce: Quiet, you two! If I hear one more word, Tim doesn’t get to drink coffee and Damian doesn’t get to go on patrol.
Tim: Bruce!
Damian: Father!
Bruce: Not. One. Word.
Tim and Damian: *start insulting each other by lightly tapping spoons and banging salt and pepper shakers*
Bruce: I thought I told you two to knock it off.
Tim: We didn’t say anything!
Damian: Not one word!
Bruce: Well, no Morse code either.
Tim: *whispering* What’s your hurry?
Jason: *grabbing his leather jacket and kicking three-day-old garbage underneath the sofa* This place is depressing.
Dick: *yelling from the kitchen* Hey! I live here!
Jason: *yelling back* And I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe if you cleaned up once in a while before these family visits, Nightwing…
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 