When you finally realize that you’re officially part of the Batfamily…
Duke: I don’t think I’m really cut out for a job where you disarm a bomb, steal a classified document, and then jump off a building.
Jason: *supportively pats him on the shoulder* Well, you could have fooled me.
Duke: That’s very kind of you to say, but I’m pretty sure my girlish screams in the face of danger give me away.
Jason and Tim: *watch as Tam walks away*
Jason: *elbows Tim in the ribs and gives him a “Why didn’t you talk to her???” look*
Tim: *rubbing his chest and hissing* Of course I find her attractive! It’s just that I had a burrito earlier and I was trying to be respectful.
Damian: *puts on noise-cancelling earphones after overhearing Bruce and Dick yelling at each other*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: I hate it when father and father fight.
Also Damian: *looks around in a slight panic to check if anyone heard what he just said*
On speaker phone with The Flash and about to discuss the scientific details of a case…
Batman: This is Batman.
Green Lantern: *yelling from across the Batcave while checking out the Batjet* And Hal, so speak English!
Red Hood: I don’t really do well with change, I guess.
Batman: Well, you’re better than I am.
Red Hood: The pyramids are better at change than you are.
Red Hood: … It’s a joke! Hey, I was being affectionate.
Tim: I’m going to go talk to Bruce right now because I am emotionally mature.
Jason: Show off.
Aboard one of Black Mask’s private planes…
Pilot: *looking out the window* What’s he doing?
Red Hood: *suction-cupped to the plane door, destroying it with his fists*
Co-pilot: He’s being Red Hood.
Red Hood and Red Robin: *wounded, out of weapons, and crouching behind crates as armed henchmen close in on them from every corner*
Red Hood: *grins*
Red Robin: Jason, “I could take out those guys” isn’t a plan.
Bruce: Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite Robin?
Dick: Bruuuuce. Come on!
Bruce: I think instinctively you must know…
Dick: I mean, it’s like…
Bruce: I mean you’ve gotten away with everything…
Dick: *giggles* Bruce, you don’t have to say that…
Bruce: You’ll always be my little bo–
Door: *thud thud thud*
Batman: *muffled* Nightwing, get up. It’s time for patrol.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And it had been such a nice dream, too.
Superman: Bruce, I hope this isn’t too personal but… is that a human heartbeat I’m hearing or are you just happy to see me?
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