When your sleep-deprived brother’s eager to meet his date to the Wayne Foundation gala…
Tam: *walks into the ballroom*
Tim: *clumsily smoothing down his suit* No! She’s here early! How do I look?
Jason: *eyeing Tim’s ruffled hair, bruised cheek, lopsided bowtie, half-untucked dress shirt and muddy patrol boots* It’s better if you didn’t know.
Author: chocoh0lic0201
Dick: *reads newspaper article about the Drake-Wayne/Fox engagement*
Dick [to Tim]: You intended to propose without telling me, your eldest and most good-looking brother?!
When your faux fiancée won’t believe how nosy your siblings can be…
Tim [to Tam]: As soon as we touch, the blinds will open, and three annoying, but lovable, misfits will be staring at us.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And one creepy, but loveable, Batdad will be spying through binoculars from three rooftops away.
When you disobey a direct order from Batman…
Batman:
*stands up slowly from his chair and glares at Simon*
Hrrrn. Are you trying to get formidable on me, Lantern?
Green Lantern: I-It worked on H-Hal –
Batman: Infomercials work on Jordan.
Blue Beetle: I was a little too harsh on you. I’m not perfect.
Booster Gold: I am. I’d be happy to show you the ropes. *winks*
Nightwing: Better get some rest, Bruce…
Batman: I’m tired, Dick. The kind of tired you can’t sleep off.
Dick: *decides to move on from being Robin and become Nightwing*
Bruce: Is there anything I can say?
Dick: You can give me your word that you’ll be just as hard on my successor as you were on me.
Bruce: You have my word.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Red Hood, upon hearing this anecdote: Why, that little piece of sh–
His last words before being attacked by his brothers with a bull tranquilizer gun…
Tim: *eyes red, eyelids drooping, skin pale as ash, drinking coffee with a straw* I am looking forward to hanging out at the hardware store and pestering the owner about the placement of the surveillance cameras.
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
Mornings at the Manor…
Alfred: *decorating pancakes with whipped butter and blueberries*
Dick: *eating cereal while doing a one-armed handstand*
Jason: *throwing bacon bits at Dick’s face*
Tim: *enters the kitchen*
Damian: What’s that smell? *sniffs the room*
Everyone else: *stops to sniff*
Damian: Smells like sweat and anger and shame.
Tim: *with dark rings under his eyes*
Tim: *pours coffee onto the wrong end of his mug*
Tim: *sighs* Yep.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 