Red Hood: Hey, c’mere @alias-sunshine, you know what we’re gonna do? I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna show that teacher of yours… Oh, man. Come on, I’ll show you something. *gestures for them to follow him*
alias-sunshine: *follows them to a walk-in closet in Jason’s safe house*
Red Hood: *approaches the steel-doored closet and holds a hand up* Wait here.
Red Hood: *Retinal Scan – PASSED*
Red Hood: *Palm Print Scan – PASSED*
Red Hood: *Voice Recognition*
Red Hood: It’s me.
Voice-activated Lock: Voice not recognized. Attempt one of three before Code Red Protocol is activated.
Red Hood: You listen here, I programmed you –
Voice-activated Lock: Attempt two of three. Initializing –
Red Hood: No, no! Wait. Stop. Okay.
Red Hood: *glances at alias-sunshine shyly, rubs his neck sheepishly, then whispers to the mic* The Handsome Robin.
Voice-activated Lock: Voice unintelligible. Attempt three of –
Red Hood: THE HANDSOME ROBIN!
Voice-activated Lock: Well, hello there, Jason Todd. *door opens*
Red Hood: *chuckles in embarrassment* It’s broken. *clears his throat* Right this way.
Red Hood: *takes a wooden box with a poorly drawn Robin symbol on it from a shelf, opens it, then takes out a yellowing piece of paper*
Red Hood: *hands it to alias-sunshine* See that? That’s how we’re gonna show your teacher.
Paper [a comic book panel from Batman Annual #12 (1988)]:
alias-sunshine: *looks at him, puzzled*
Red Hood: *places a hand on their shoulder* We’re gonna study like crazy, kid. I’m gonna show you the ropes. We’re gonna train for your exams like Riddler’s making ‘em. And your teacher’s head is gonna spin with all the good grades they’ll be handing you. *sighs in contentment* I mean, will you look at that G.P.A…. I should probably change my password to “The Smartest Robin” –
Red Robin: *entering through a window* Too bad the title’s already taken.
Red Hood: How’d you – Never mind.
Red Robin: I fixed a few glitches in your security system. *sees alias-sunshine, then looks at Jason questioningly* Hey… ?
Red Hood: It’s a long story. *gestures haphazardly as he makes introductions* alias-sunshine, Red Robin, Loser, alias-sunshine.
Red Robin: *grins and shakes hands with alias-sunshine*
Red Hood: What’re you even doing he–
Red Robin: *snatches the paper from alias-sunshine’s hand and snaps a photo of it* Dude, is this… ?
Red Hood: *grabs it from Tim* Gimme that! You’ll get it all dirty.
Red Robin: How… how do you have that?
Red Hood: *carefully replacing the paper in the wooden box* None of your business, Tim. I have… connections.
Red Robin: How is this even possible, Jay? With all the continuity changes we’ve been through, we might not even be on the same timeline as that report card… *scrolling through the contacts on his communicator* I’m sending this to Bruce. Or Barry Allen. Or maybe Mr. Mxyzptlik?
Red Hood: *slowly faces Tim with narrowed eyes* How do you know about continuity changes?
Red Robin: I, uh… *runs back to the window and grapple-hooks out of it* Gotta go! See ya arouuund, alias-sunshiiiiine!
Red Hood [to alias-sunshine]: We’re gonna pretend you didn’t just witness that, alright? Look, kid… About the whole adoption thing… That’s kind of Batman’s department. Not sure what you’ve heard, but he’s *sigh* really not that bad. *rapidly blinks away tears that’re threatening to fall*
Red Hood: But my offer still stands. Tutorials, after classes, two hours a day, three days a week, unlimited Batburgers with Jokerized fries on me. *offers to bump fists* You in?
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