Him: *claps his hands to get the students’ attention* “Okay, so. It’s your turn to try the moves I showed you. I need a volunteer. Who wants to go first?”
Hands: *shoot up in the air before he even finishes saying the word “first”*
Him: *beckons a student over* “You.”
Student: *approaches him*
Him: *chuckles sheepishly and holds up a hand* “Woah there, a little too close. I can, uh, practically smell your breath. *clears his throat* So here’s how it’s going to go. I’m going to tackle you from behind…”
Student: *staring at him dreamily*
Him: “… and you’re supposed to fight back.”
Student: *nodding absentmindedly*
Him: *proceeds to tackle them*
Student: *melts in his arms*
Him: *sighs in frustration*
>>> — <<<
Him: *does a standing double backflip, pulls escrima sticks from his back mid-air, then lands lightly on his feet, pouncing on a dummy*
Class: *silent*
Student: “You want us to do what now?”
JASON:
Him: *demonstrates how to disarm an attacker using a dummy*
Class: *watches in horror as the dummy practically breaks in half*
Him: *growls, stands up, then roughly wipes the sweat off his face*
Him: *finally notices their shock* “But, you know, it’s, um… It’s just one way to do it. You could always improvise.”
>>> — <<<
Student: *approaches him after class* “Mr. Todd, can I just pay you?”
Him: “Well, yeah, these classes aren’t exactly free…”
Student: “I mean, can I just pay you to go around with me?”
Him: “Uh…”
Student: *shaky breath* “It’s just that there’s this bully in my school and…”
Him: “Say no more. It’s on me.”
TIM:
Class: *puzzled*
Student A: “Uh… This is a train station.”
Him: *tossing a blindfold to each of them* Yup.
Student B: “Where exactly are we headed?”
Him: *listens for an oncoming train* On top.
Student C: “Of the train?”
Him: *sipping liquid caffeine from a sachet* Mm-hm.
Student D: *examining the blindfold in their hand, confused* “Yeah… I don’t think any of us are gonna get mugged on top of a train any time soon.”
Him: *wearing his own blindfold and smirking* “It’s better to know it and not need it.”
>>> — <<<
Class: *puzzled*
Student A: “Uh… This is a computer room.”
Him: *turning the lights on* “Yup. Each of you choose a laptop.”
Student B: “What exactly are we doing here? I thought this was a self-defense class.”
Him: *turning on the state-of-the-art laptop at the front of the room* “Ever heard of cyber bullying?”
DAMIAN:
Him: *drags a heavy crate into the training room and opens it* “Line up. Pick your weapon. Then pair up. Do it quickly and” *narrows his eyes* "quietly.“
Student A: *whispering while gingerly touching the tip of an arrowhead* “Is this… kryptonite?”
Student B: *whispering back while examining the katana in their hand* “I don’t know, but I don’t think this is gonna fit in my purse.”
>>> — <<<
Him: *pacing around the room* “As I was saying, every martial art is” – *does a double take* “Todd?”
Jason: *walking into the dojo with a student* “In the flesh. Wassup, little brother?”
Student: *points at Damian* “That’s the bully I was telling you about!”
Him: “-Tt-”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
You know, I’ve read great reviews about these self-defense instructors from Gotham City. But I heard Batman might take you in soon after completing their courses, @prison-mikes-bandana . *scoffs* That’s silly.
Jason: *gets up, dusts himself off, then slowly walks towards Damian’s student*
Damian’s student: *backs away, trembling in fear, until they hit a wall*
Jason: *towering over them* “One: That hurt.” *rolls his eyes* “My feelings.”
Jason: “Two:” *breaks the shaft of the arrow sticking out of his flank in half* “I’m undead, not Kryptonian.”
Jason: *narrows his eyes* “And, three…”
Damian’s student: *close to tears, shielding their face*
Jason: *smirks* “Your teacher taught you well.” *pats them on the shoulder*
Damian: “Are you done, Todd? I have a class to teach.”
Jason: *cracks his knuckles* “No, not really. I have beef with you because apparently you have beef with a student of mine.” *gestures to his own student*
Jason’s student: *raises their hand proudly*
The rest of the students: *buzzing with excitement, placing bets*
Damian: “-Tt-” *gritting his teeth* “Can we please settle this at home? I’m kind of busy here.”
Jason: *rubbing his chin* “Huh. Speaking of beef… I could use some of Alfred’s stew.”
Jason’s student: *whispering to him* “Who’s Alfred?”
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 