The Robins as…

TELEMARKETERS

Dick

• Flirtatious, even when he doesn’t mean to be (or perhaps the warmth in his voice, in his tone, makes you think so)
• Ends up as a “therapist” once in a while
• “Sure, I’ll call you sometime… Got your number right here.”

Jason

• [You] “Hello? Are you still there?” [Him] *takes his hand off the mouth receiver and coughs up cigarette smoke* Yuuup yup yup, hold on a sec – *nondescript background noises* – So about that vacuum cleaner –
• Actually admits how much the product he’s selling sucks and recommends better options

Tim

• Disguise Master Extraordinaire (so much so that one minute you believe you’re speaking with Jeremy Irons, then Fran Drescher the next… Huh?)
• Explains product features too thoroughly (making you wonder how many degrees you need to have or memes to be familiar with to understand what he’s saying)

Damian

• “Sir, you would be an idiot not to – Did you not hear what I just – What did you just say to me – How dare you, you fool! – I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, SIR –” (and make no mistake, he does)
• He’s reported, he’s fired, and he’s all, “MY FATHER OWNS THIS STUPID COMPANY!”

– • – • – • – • –

So, @lilakriger , did hilarity indeed ensue?Thank you for the suggestion!